A Letter to My Child.

My dear child-

     First of all I want you to know that I love you with all that I am. I say this in hopes that you never question my love for you. It would sadden me completely if you ever had to ask, "Does she love me?" How can I not? I know that you are young and that you will not understand the full extent of this letter until you are older but I hope you realize that I never wanted to leave you. I am sorry I will never see you again, however know that I will always be thinking of you and there will not be a night that goes by without me lifting up your name in prayer. I hope you do not think I am selfish in leaving you. I cannot give you my reason why, but just know that if you could understand my reasoning you would see that my true intentions are always looking out for what's best for you.

     As your mother, I believe it is important that I include some important advice in this letter. Whether you choose to listen too it and obey it, that is up to you. It is important to me to let you know that I always found it easy to combine my points to live life by in a list all starting with the same letter. Whether you use these exact words and order it doesn't matter the important part is that you remember the ideas that the words stand for.

1. Faith- Labels are not important. So I am not going to be particular about saying you need to believe a certain religion and strictly believe in only that. If you feel you like a hodgepodge do that. The important thing is to have beliefs and morals in your life. They will help guide you; if you set these up while you are younger they will already be decided when you are older and you won't have to decide on the spot if you believe in something. I cannot force you to believe in anything, but I would encourage you to establish a walk with God while you are still young. When all else falls apart and everyone disappoints you, God is still there. I recommend finding a church to go to. One that is friendly, has lots to keep you busy, and one that challenges you to be a better person.

2. Family- You can call me a hypocrite all you want and I understand you thinking that I am telling you family is important and then me abandoning you forever. This is true, however I do not wish that you sacrifice the rest of your family just because I left. Your dad and future brothers and sisters (maybe) are going to be a very important part of your life. Make a ton of memories, become their closest friends, find out everything there is to know about them. There should be a unique bond between you that no one outside of the family quite understands. Everybody has arguments and disagreements but never have them in public with others around. Families are not perfect, but they are a team. It's always Family First. You should spend more time with your family than time spent with all your other friends combined. Never be embarrassed about giving your family hugs or kisses in public. It shows that you are real, that they really matter, and that you truly appreciate them. Lastly, Love them with all your heart because there is no such thing as loving them too much, and never leave them without saying, "I love you!"

3. Friends/Fun- After reading the last point you probably think that I am totally against friends.  That is not true at all. I am just not for friends being more important than family because after all family should be some of your closest friends since chances are they will be there long after others are gone. However friends are an important part of life. First, your friends should always make you feel good about yourself, and never make you feel that you have to always defend yourself or others you love. I do not think it is important whether you have a couple super close friends or a lot of acquaintances. I do want you to know that it is vital that you be friendly to everyone. You do not have to be friends and hang out but be kind and friendly. It does not matter what someone looks like, who they hang out with, or what you think they are like. Everyone is a human being on the inside having to struggle on this earth and if nothing else at least you have that in common. Realize that not every nice person you meet should be your friend. Your friends should make you smile, never pull you down, be able to tell you when your making a mistake, and always--love you for who you are! Fun is important because life is filled with it. Do not be a boring person (otherwise you won't have any friends.) Fun can be so easy to find. I love to find fun in the simple things. People watching is fun, guessing what there life is like and what they are doing just by watching them in some public setting. Finding shapes in the clouds, or coming up with silly games with constantly changing rules that can entertain you for hours. Remember though that fun doesn't have to be something you do it can be part of who you are, that way no matter where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing it can always be fun!

4. Future- This is the last point and probably the most confusing. Most people try not to think too far into the future because it is cloudy, it is undecided and most people are afraid of the unknown. Truth is if we don't think about it or make plans for our future it is unknown but it doesn't have to be. Always know the next step you plan to take so when it comes you don't have to decide but rather just sort out the details. Some major points to look out for would be: a first job, college, housing, career, relationship. Of course these won't happen until your much older but time flies so just be aware that the decisions will be there to make. When choosing, you want to have certain people to talk to-wise people who have lots of life experience. One person would be your dad, and maybe someone else you respect and admire, lastly I would choose an expert in whatever field it is for, also don't forget to pray hard about all decisions. You can't go wrong by asking for God's help. One last thing is that the list of major decision points is probably a good way to take them one at a time. I didn't just write them as I thought of them rather I put them the way that would pry be wisest for you to go about getting them done. Go to college before settling down and get a career and a means of income before you settle into a long serious relationship. Remember that life is complicated and won't always do as you tell it, so leave room for change and complications. Life is good, and as long as you realize that, it will be.

     I understand if you are upset with me. I am giving you all reason to hate me, but just know that if you ever have a kid one day you will understand the extent of your love for them is never ending. Even if I never see you again, and even if you hate me know that I love you, and that I will never stop loving you for all eternity.

xoxoxo,
Mommy

My Legacy

     In my "Bible" reading today I came across a very interesting thought. What do you want to be remembered for? What do you want people to say at your funeral? What will your great accomplishments be when you die? Who do you want to remember you as having an impact on their life?

     We are all going to die. It only takes one second, one rash decision, one mistaken step and then our lives could be over. Let's just say for the sake of this blog post that my date to die is December in the year 2025. That would be the month after my 30th birthday. If I die at age 30 first of all I do not want a funeral; I want a memorial service. There's just something about the word funeral that just creeps people out and sounds too depressing. Death is inevitable, but how we see it is our choice. To me, death is another adventure so to speak. We live; we die. It's only natural, so when I die I wish to have a memorial service for people to remember me and be happy for the life I lived not grieve for me and think of the life I could have lived.

     I want to be remembered as a happy girl. A girl that always had a smile on her face and song in her heart. One that knew what she wanted and worked hard to get it. I want people to remember that I lived my life to the fullest no matter how long my life ends up to be. I want to be remembered as a giving person-one who only wanted the best for those loved ones in my life. I want them to know I cared about them and I do not want them to wonder if I loved them. I want people to remember my hugs and my words of encouragement, and most of all I want people to know that when I die I am going to heaven and I want all my friends and family to know that I was saved by grace and they can be to.

     I plan to have many great accomplishments done by the time I die. I decided a little while ago that no time is "too soon" to have started a bucket list. That list is already chalk full of things to do before I die. Some are little things that will have minor impact on my life if only to say, "I DID IT!" Other items on that list, however are accomplishments that I wish to be remembered for such as: writing a novel, getting an article about my work published in a newspaper/magazine, and to own my own business. I want kids to be able to see my name and say, "Hey, I have one of her books, it's awesome!" or "Dude, I read one of her books once and I couldn't put it down; she's my favorite author now!" My greatest accomplishment when I die will (hopefully) be that I am a successful freelance writer. I hope my life impacts others for the better. I mean what a waste if you live say 30 years and never touch one soul. I take back what I said before. Changing someones life is by far the greatest accomplishment I could hope to do in my lifetime, but why should I only stop at one? I still want to be a successful freelance writer, but I want my writing to be a help to someone. What is the point of having many best selling novels if none of them really impact anybody's life?

     I want to impact the next generation, especially, because they have the power to change the future, actually, they are the future, and by impacting them I impact the future. I want my family to remember me as having an impact on their life. I don't want people to say when I die, "Who are you talking about?" I want to have a legacy; I want to be remembered even after I am long gone as the girl who never quit, who never gave up on those she loved, one who did not under any circumstances conform to the cookie cutter shapes of those around her. Yes, I will be different. Yes, I will stand out. But I will not die without leaving my hand print on your heart and my stamp of individuality on this earth.

Yours Until I die,
GreeenGirl

My Safe Harbor

     I am standing as still as stone. I open my eyes, and see that I am in a grove of redwoods. From the look of things they are like a labyrinth. They are circled around me and bent towards me as I stand motionless as if I am the statue. The towering redwoods come together above my head, and block out most but not all the sunlight. It is cool and damp with just enough sunlight streaming through the trees for me to see where I want to go. I cautiously take a step forward and take in my surroundings.  I am all alone except for the nature sounds. It is the perfect kind of quiet not too quiet that I miss the calls of the birds yet not too loud that I miss the sound of my footsteps snapping twigs as I move forward. As I make my way out of the maze of trees my surroundings slowly evolve until I have come to a new scene entirely. The sounds of the birds are still there but are now different and I realize they are soft calls of seagulls as if in a distant land. The air around me changes to misty coolness and fog is wrapped around my ankles. The ground is no longer that of a forest but now it is thick lush grass. Suddenly without warning I am at the edge of a cliff and down below is the far away land that I heard. I observe seagulls flying high above the crashing waves and white foam. I turn around to step away from the cliff and behind me is a bench that has somehow appeared. It looks as if it has been there forever. It is wooden with rusty metal arms. Growing up the sides and back are wildflowers of all colors and as I inch closer I see it has a plaque with my initials engraved on it. I sit there facing the sea. Balanced between the calm and the crazy. This is my safe harbor, my happy place, the place where even on the worst day I can be content.
-GreenGirl

My New Journey

     These next few months (or however long it takes) I will be traveling on a journey. Each day I plan to read my "Bible" not my KJV, giant print, red letter edition, Bible but my copy of The Freelance Writer's Bible by David Trottier. I am not putting a time length on how long it will take me to finish this book because I do not want it to be a speed read. I would rather take my time and really learn from this journey. I have just recently started it and already I have learned so much!
     Anyways, throughout this book are many writing exercises that the author puts in to test your writing ability and to stretch you to limits you thought impossible. I will be sharing mine on this blog. I know that it may not mean as much to you (readers) as it does to me, but just knowing that there are people who see it will hopefully hold me to a higher standard and make me take it as seriously as possible. Thank you for reading, and good night!
    ~GreenGirl