My dear child-
First of all I want you to know that I love you with all that I am. I say this in hopes that you never question my love for you. It would sadden me completely if you ever had to ask, "Does she love me?" How can I not? I know that you are young and that you will not understand the full extent of this letter until you are older but I hope you realize that I never wanted to leave you. I am sorry I will never see you again, however know that I will always be thinking of you and there will not be a night that goes by without me lifting up your name in prayer. I hope you do not think I am selfish in leaving you. I cannot give you my reason why, but just know that if you could understand my reasoning you would see that my true intentions are always looking out for what's best for you.
As your mother, I believe it is important that I include some important advice in this letter. Whether you choose to listen too it and obey it, that is up to you. It is important to me to let you know that I always found it easy to combine my points to live life by in a list all starting with the same letter. Whether you use these exact words and order it doesn't matter the important part is that you remember the ideas that the words stand for.
1. Faith- Labels are not important. So I am not going to be particular about saying you need to believe a certain religion and strictly believe in only that. If you feel you like a hodgepodge do that. The important thing is to have beliefs and morals in your life. They will help guide you; if you set these up while you are younger they will already be decided when you are older and you won't have to decide on the spot if you believe in something. I cannot force you to believe in anything, but I would encourage you to establish a walk with God while you are still young. When all else falls apart and everyone disappoints you, God is still there. I recommend finding a church to go to. One that is friendly, has lots to keep you busy, and one that challenges you to be a better person.
2. Family- You can call me a hypocrite all you want and I understand you thinking that I am telling you family is important and then me abandoning you forever. This is true, however I do not wish that you sacrifice the rest of your family just because I left. Your dad and future brothers and sisters (maybe) are going to be a very important part of your life. Make a ton of memories, become their closest friends, find out everything there is to know about them. There should be a unique bond between you that no one outside of the family quite understands. Everybody has arguments and disagreements but never have them in public with others around. Families are not perfect, but they are a team. It's always Family First. You should spend more time with your family than time spent with all your other friends combined. Never be embarrassed about giving your family hugs or kisses in public. It shows that you are real, that they really matter, and that you truly appreciate them. Lastly, Love them with all your heart because there is no such thing as loving them too much, and never leave them without saying, "I love you!"
3. Friends/Fun- After reading the last point you probably think that I am totally against friends. That is not true at all. I am just not for friends being more important than family because after all family should be some of your closest friends since chances are they will be there long after others are gone. However friends are an important part of life. First, your friends should always make you feel good about yourself, and never make you feel that you have to always defend yourself or others you love. I do not think it is important whether you have a couple super close friends or a lot of acquaintances. I do want you to know that it is vital that you be friendly to everyone. You do not have to be friends and hang out but be kind and friendly. It does not matter what someone looks like, who they hang out with, or what you think they are like. Everyone is a human being on the inside having to struggle on this earth and if nothing else at least you have that in common. Realize that not every nice person you meet should be your friend. Your friends should make you smile, never pull you down, be able to tell you when your making a mistake, and always--love you for who you are! Fun is important because life is filled with it. Do not be a boring person (otherwise you won't have any friends.) Fun can be so easy to find. I love to find fun in the simple things. People watching is fun, guessing what there life is like and what they are doing just by watching them in some public setting. Finding shapes in the clouds, or coming up with silly games with constantly changing rules that can entertain you for hours. Remember though that fun doesn't have to be something you do it can be part of who you are, that way no matter where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing it can always be fun!
4. Future- This is the last point and probably the most confusing. Most people try not to think too far into the future because it is cloudy, it is undecided and most people are afraid of the unknown. Truth is if we don't think about it or make plans for our future it is unknown but it doesn't have to be. Always know the next step you plan to take so when it comes you don't have to decide but rather just sort out the details. Some major points to look out for would be: a first job, college, housing, career, relationship. Of course these won't happen until your much older but time flies so just be aware that the decisions will be there to make. When choosing, you want to have certain people to talk to-wise people who have lots of life experience. One person would be your dad, and maybe someone else you respect and admire, lastly I would choose an expert in whatever field it is for, also don't forget to pray hard about all decisions. You can't go wrong by asking for God's help. One last thing is that the list of major decision points is probably a good way to take them one at a time. I didn't just write them as I thought of them rather I put them the way that would pry be wisest for you to go about getting them done. Go to college before settling down and get a career and a means of income before you settle into a long serious relationship. Remember that life is complicated and won't always do as you tell it, so leave room for change and complications. Life is good, and as long as you realize that, it will be.
I understand if you are upset with me. I am giving you all reason to hate me, but just know that if you ever have a kid one day you will understand the extent of your love for them is never ending. Even if I never see you again, and even if you hate me know that I love you, and that I will never stop loving you for all eternity.
xoxoxo,
Mommy
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