I love to write poetry because it's easy for me to express my feelings this way. I often write them as prayers. They are very personal, and I hope by sharing them with you, that you relate and hopefully they will be of help to realize that God is always with us. He is there even when it seems everything is spiraling in a tornado of madness and you have no idea where to start. Poetry is my outlet to just calm down and refocus. Enjoy these two poems and have an awesome day!
Until next time,
GreenGirl
WHAT DO I DO?
There are no words I can find,
Scared, worried, nervous-
Nothing just seems to capture
My feeling opposite of bliss.
My feet can't stop shaking.
"Am I making the right decision?",
I think as I take this large step.
All I can hope is precision.
I don't want to let anyone down
Or cause disappointment around me.
The last thing I need one to say
Is, "That is not how to do it properly."
Just light it, one step at a time;
God, please show me the away.
Help me only do what is right
And from this path never stray.
A BAD DAY
Nobody's always happy.
We all have certain days
where life seems to us down,
and it seems we've lost our way.
But lately it's more often
That these feelings come inside,
And I can't help but hate myself
Because I want to run and hide.
I know I'm doing what's right,
And this is the life for me,
But it's so much harder than I imagined.
I'm a lock without a key.
Lord, give me grace and guidance
To live without the stress
Of worry, fear, and bitterness,
For me to never have to guess.
Give me confidence in all I do;
Help me not to give in.
I'll try my hardest all the time;
With your help I know I'll win.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
My Beliefs.
The other day I had to fill out an online survey for college. They are sent to either all the students or students picked at random-I'm not exactly sure. Anyways, the one I got was on my beliefs. They gave you a topic and then below it said "I believe..." and had five blank lines. You were only required to fill out three of the five lines but if you wanted you could fill out all.
Beliefs are very important, without them you wouldn't be an individual. Beliefs are one of the things that set you apart from others and show others what you are unashamed to stand for. For this reason I have decided to share with you all my set of beliefs that I had put on the survey. There are more than these couple, but I was only allowed five lines so I tried to pick the most important, but at the same time I put the first ones that popped into my head.
My beliefs on spiritual life and a relationship with God:
1. Once saved, always saved that's what I believe.
2. God loves the sinner, but hates the sin.
3. Without God nothing is possible; at the same time with God anything is possible.
4. God is, was, and always will be.
5. God sent His son Jesus to Earth to live among us, to suffer cruel torture by us, to die on the cross for us, and rise from the grave three days later so we can (if we want) go to heaven when we die to live eternally in His presence.
My beliefs on relationships with others:
1. We should treat others as we ourselves would want to be treated.
2. You can tell much about a person by how they treat life and how they treat the ones they love most.
3. The people that are hardest to love are sometimes the ones that need our love most.
4. Family should be among one's top three priorities in life.
5. Family should be the baking flour in the cookies of life and friends the chocolate chips.
My beliefs on profession/vocation/ministry:
1. One should not write anything lightly without first making sure they would be unashamed to say it in person.
2. One should do their best at everything they do since it reveals their true character.
3. One's personal life should not interfere with their professional life.
4. If at any time one feels her priorities have gone wrong she should step back and re-evaluate.
5. To have true success in life (vocation, home, etc.) my God and my faith have to be key ingredients.
I share my beliefs not so that you feel I am pushing them on you, but rather so you can ask yourself, "What are my beliefs?" "What do I stand for?" This is an easy exercise that really puts in perspective what you believe. Thanks for reading!
xoxoxo! GreenGirl
Beliefs are very important, without them you wouldn't be an individual. Beliefs are one of the things that set you apart from others and show others what you are unashamed to stand for. For this reason I have decided to share with you all my set of beliefs that I had put on the survey. There are more than these couple, but I was only allowed five lines so I tried to pick the most important, but at the same time I put the first ones that popped into my head.
My beliefs on spiritual life and a relationship with God:
1. Once saved, always saved that's what I believe.
2. God loves the sinner, but hates the sin.
3. Without God nothing is possible; at the same time with God anything is possible.
4. God is, was, and always will be.
5. God sent His son Jesus to Earth to live among us, to suffer cruel torture by us, to die on the cross for us, and rise from the grave three days later so we can (if we want) go to heaven when we die to live eternally in His presence.
My beliefs on relationships with others:
1. We should treat others as we ourselves would want to be treated.
2. You can tell much about a person by how they treat life and how they treat the ones they love most.
3. The people that are hardest to love are sometimes the ones that need our love most.
4. Family should be among one's top three priorities in life.
5. Family should be the baking flour in the cookies of life and friends the chocolate chips.
My beliefs on profession/vocation/ministry:
1. One should not write anything lightly without first making sure they would be unashamed to say it in person.
2. One should do their best at everything they do since it reveals their true character.
3. One's personal life should not interfere with their professional life.
4. If at any time one feels her priorities have gone wrong she should step back and re-evaluate.
5. To have true success in life (vocation, home, etc.) my God and my faith have to be key ingredients.
I share my beliefs not so that you feel I am pushing them on you, but rather so you can ask yourself, "What are my beliefs?" "What do I stand for?" This is an easy exercise that really puts in perspective what you believe. Thanks for reading!
xoxoxo! GreenGirl
Friday, September 6, 2013
My first college chapel experience (and my second)...
So...I survived my first week as a freshman at college. Wow! I thought I would be a lot more freaked out right now but actually it's not too bad. I think as long as I keep my priorities straight it will go fine. There is one matter I would like to tell you all about and it is this little thing called "chapel"...
Wednesday was my first day of chapel and I made sure I checked my e-mail the night before so that I knew my seat assignment. The next morning upon entering the auditorium I almost immediately found my seat. I didn't want to rush but I wanted to find it without much hassle so it was as obvious as a neon sign that I was a freshman. I was joined not long after by a girl on my left and a boy on my right. After some awkward conversation starters and some uncomfortable gaps of silence we came to the conclusion that we were all freshmen and I realized chapel could be looking up for me since my hopes hadn't been high to say the least.
Here's where it gets bad (or good, depending on your perspective). After we had gotten the obvious questions out of the way our row leader arrives. He pulls out the sheet of paper he has to take attendance on for our row and I happen to glance over and observe it. I was startled by what I saw. I saw the names of both my seat neighbors, but where I was supposed to be was somebody else's name! I didn't understand! I thought this was my spot! I told the girl to my left who in turn told our row leader and he comforted me saying most freshmen get lost on the first day and to not worry. So I waited out the whole chapel service but nobody came to claim my seat, however I was told that next time I would have to sit in my correctly assigned seat.
It turns out I was only three rows behind where I was supposed to be sitting, and at first it didn't seem that different at all. This time there was a girl to my left and a guy to my right. The girl was very kind and sweet, but the guy showed up just in time and I didn't get to catch his name or even say hi. Little did I know the horror that awaited me in the upcoming chapel services ahead. The intro and the singing went fine, but when the speaker got up to start his sermon that's when things took off. The guy to my right that I didn't get to meet was chewing his gum excessively loud. There was also a guy up one row and diagonal from me that basically you could say he slept while he was awake, at least he snored anyways! Lastly was the girl immediately behind me that sat clicking her pen over and over and over. I felt as if I was a spring and each click pushed me a little tighter until finally! I sprang, unable to control myself, I turned around and asked her to stop. Unfortunately that lasted all of two minutes.
Needless to say, I remember little of that service, but if it taught me one thing it was to be grateful for the seat you have because it could change in a heart beat and take notes that way you can say you remembered at least something from chapel!
Laughing on the inside,
GreenGirl
Wednesday was my first day of chapel and I made sure I checked my e-mail the night before so that I knew my seat assignment. The next morning upon entering the auditorium I almost immediately found my seat. I didn't want to rush but I wanted to find it without much hassle so it was as obvious as a neon sign that I was a freshman. I was joined not long after by a girl on my left and a boy on my right. After some awkward conversation starters and some uncomfortable gaps of silence we came to the conclusion that we were all freshmen and I realized chapel could be looking up for me since my hopes hadn't been high to say the least.
Here's where it gets bad (or good, depending on your perspective). After we had gotten the obvious questions out of the way our row leader arrives. He pulls out the sheet of paper he has to take attendance on for our row and I happen to glance over and observe it. I was startled by what I saw. I saw the names of both my seat neighbors, but where I was supposed to be was somebody else's name! I didn't understand! I thought this was my spot! I told the girl to my left who in turn told our row leader and he comforted me saying most freshmen get lost on the first day and to not worry. So I waited out the whole chapel service but nobody came to claim my seat, however I was told that next time I would have to sit in my correctly assigned seat.
It turns out I was only three rows behind where I was supposed to be sitting, and at first it didn't seem that different at all. This time there was a girl to my left and a guy to my right. The girl was very kind and sweet, but the guy showed up just in time and I didn't get to catch his name or even say hi. Little did I know the horror that awaited me in the upcoming chapel services ahead. The intro and the singing went fine, but when the speaker got up to start his sermon that's when things took off. The guy to my right that I didn't get to meet was chewing his gum excessively loud. There was also a guy up one row and diagonal from me that basically you could say he slept while he was awake, at least he snored anyways! Lastly was the girl immediately behind me that sat clicking her pen over and over and over. I felt as if I was a spring and each click pushed me a little tighter until finally! I sprang, unable to control myself, I turned around and asked her to stop. Unfortunately that lasted all of two minutes.
Needless to say, I remember little of that service, but if it taught me one thing it was to be grateful for the seat you have because it could change in a heart beat and take notes that way you can say you remembered at least something from chapel!
Laughing on the inside,
GreenGirl
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Feelings on College...
I'm leaving for college soon-less than 24 hours to be more specific. I have been asked it seems bazillion times, "How are you feeling-excited, nervous, scared?" Almost every time my answer is the same, "Yes."
The main reason I am excited is because I have been waiting for this adventure for a long time. It was never an option, even when I was a child, to not go to college. So for me, I knew it was coming; it was just a matter of time. All growing up I had an infatuation with schooling abroad. I don't know why; I just did. I cannot count the number of times I asked my parents about boarding school, but their answer was always the same. I guess that is part of the reason why I'm excited for college I get to live my fantasy! Only in my dreams did I ever imagine doing this, and now it's coming true! The other reason I'm excited to attend college is because it is change, and change in my life is always welcome. To have my life be stagnant and dull is not my idea of fun. The way I figure it is life is unpredictable; it will change whether you want it to or not. It doesn't need your permission so you might as well learn to love it so that when it does happen you won't freak out.
Whenever you are excited about something chances are you will also be nervous. For this same reason you rarely have all good and all bad. Since they are usually two sides to every story and pros and cons to every decision I am excited and nervous. I'll admit that my excitement (as of right now) is outweighing my nervousness, but the nerves are still there none the less. I'm just as nervous as every other freshmen starting their first year at a brand new college in a totally different state with basically all strangers, but that's only normal, right?
I'm scared. I don't like to admit it, along with most other people, but I am. Last night I was kept up by this fact and it was bothering me because I knew I was scared but I couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason I was scared. I still can't but I can try my best to get out as much as I can. I'm scared that I will disappoint my family, mostly my parents. It's not hard to realize that I live the best life imaginable. I have loving parents who care for my every need. They are always there for me and I love them to the moon and back again. They have created the ideal life for me and my siblings, and for this reason I would hate myself if I ever did anything that disappoints them or makes them question my love for them. I am scared that I will not succeed. I fear I expect so much of myself that I will not meet my own demands. My biggest fear I am aware of. They say to come to know your fear because that is the only way you have a chance at beating it. My largest and most frightening scare is that I will change. I know this may sound like I am contradicting my first point but this is different. I welcome external change (change of my surroundings); however when it comes to internal change (change that effects my spirit and attitude and beliefs) this is not appreciated but rather unacceptable. It haunts me even more that almost everyone I have known to leave home for college do not come back the same, and most of the time the change in their life is not for the better. I love myself the way I am, and I know my friends and family love me this way as well. Why then would I want to leave one way and come back a whole new person? I am scared that tomorrow when I leave my house to go to the airport that I won't return as the same person. In fact, even scarier is the realization that it is impossible to remain the same girl that leaves. For one reason or another college will end up changing me. I can only hope it will be for the better.
So, how do I feel about college? It's hard to say, as of right now I'm just a big jumble of emotions. All I know is that if you believe in God pray for me, and if you don't wish me luck because I'm about go on the biggest adventure of my life so far and I need all the help I can get. :) Thanks bunches! -GreenGirl
The main reason I am excited is because I have been waiting for this adventure for a long time. It was never an option, even when I was a child, to not go to college. So for me, I knew it was coming; it was just a matter of time. All growing up I had an infatuation with schooling abroad. I don't know why; I just did. I cannot count the number of times I asked my parents about boarding school, but their answer was always the same. I guess that is part of the reason why I'm excited for college I get to live my fantasy! Only in my dreams did I ever imagine doing this, and now it's coming true! The other reason I'm excited to attend college is because it is change, and change in my life is always welcome. To have my life be stagnant and dull is not my idea of fun. The way I figure it is life is unpredictable; it will change whether you want it to or not. It doesn't need your permission so you might as well learn to love it so that when it does happen you won't freak out.
Whenever you are excited about something chances are you will also be nervous. For this same reason you rarely have all good and all bad. Since they are usually two sides to every story and pros and cons to every decision I am excited and nervous. I'll admit that my excitement (as of right now) is outweighing my nervousness, but the nerves are still there none the less. I'm just as nervous as every other freshmen starting their first year at a brand new college in a totally different state with basically all strangers, but that's only normal, right?
I'm scared. I don't like to admit it, along with most other people, but I am. Last night I was kept up by this fact and it was bothering me because I knew I was scared but I couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason I was scared. I still can't but I can try my best to get out as much as I can. I'm scared that I will disappoint my family, mostly my parents. It's not hard to realize that I live the best life imaginable. I have loving parents who care for my every need. They are always there for me and I love them to the moon and back again. They have created the ideal life for me and my siblings, and for this reason I would hate myself if I ever did anything that disappoints them or makes them question my love for them. I am scared that I will not succeed. I fear I expect so much of myself that I will not meet my own demands. My biggest fear I am aware of. They say to come to know your fear because that is the only way you have a chance at beating it. My largest and most frightening scare is that I will change. I know this may sound like I am contradicting my first point but this is different. I welcome external change (change of my surroundings); however when it comes to internal change (change that effects my spirit and attitude and beliefs) this is not appreciated but rather unacceptable. It haunts me even more that almost everyone I have known to leave home for college do not come back the same, and most of the time the change in their life is not for the better. I love myself the way I am, and I know my friends and family love me this way as well. Why then would I want to leave one way and come back a whole new person? I am scared that tomorrow when I leave my house to go to the airport that I won't return as the same person. In fact, even scarier is the realization that it is impossible to remain the same girl that leaves. For one reason or another college will end up changing me. I can only hope it will be for the better.
So, how do I feel about college? It's hard to say, as of right now I'm just a big jumble of emotions. All I know is that if you believe in God pray for me, and if you don't wish me luck because I'm about go on the biggest adventure of my life so far and I need all the help I can get. :) Thanks bunches! -GreenGirl
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Old Stuff, Newly Found...
So, my life has been hectic. I am getting ready to head to college soon and that just adds to my normal crazy busy schedule. I regret to inform you that because of this dilemma I haven't had much time to write much, and what I have written is 1) not finished or 2) not ready for public viewing. Fortunately, I found a folder of some older but not old stuff that I've written on my computer and decided to post something from there. This is my first skit. Last year I had to write a scene of a play for Lit class. It's kinda of funny now that I read through it I laugh at what I wrote and realize how much better I could make it, but even if I only get a couple laughs out of it, it's still worth it. Enjoy!
~GreenGirl
~GreenGirl
THE NEW GIRL
[Roxanne is the new girl at school. Barbie is showing her around and making her feel welcome, but as the play goes on a secret is uncovered and an argument ensues that could threaten their new found friendship.]
(Coming
out of class walking to their lockers)
Barbie: Wow
if that wasn’t the most boring class yet. Miss Riley really knows how to ruin
my morning, plus I’m pretty sure I failed that pop quiz miserably.
Roxanne:
Don’t say that I’m sure you did fine.
Barbie:
(flustered) What gives you the right to say that? You don’t know how I did…your
guess is as good as mine!
Roxanne:
(mumbling to herself) Just trying to be optimistic.
Barbie: You
are right. I’m sorry - a little optimism never hurt anyone. I’m just not a
morning person. Forgive me?
Roxanne:
Done.
(The two
girls now stand at their lockers. Barbie has her back against hers waiting
while Roxanne digs in hers to get her books out.)
Barbie:
(with much excitement) OMG…don’t look up right now but guess who’s walking down
the hallway our way.
Roxanne: I
don’t know (lifting her head up to see)
Barbie: Don’t
you see him the gorgeous guy with the black shaggy hair? (Nodding her head in
his direction)
Roxanne: Ya,
I see him what about him?
Barbie: Ahhhh…(on
the verge of screaming) not only is he drop dead beautiful, with stunning
looks, and a good sense of fashion but that is Bo Hartley the schools
heartthrob and Mr. Popular seeing as he is on the varsity football team.
Roxanne: Oh…well
I uses he’s ok…(not really caring)
Barbie:
Okay?!? Are you crazy don’t you see him and me were meant to be. (Barbie says
this with a tone of seriousness in her voice) I mean I’m the best looking and
most popular girl (Roxanne rolls her eyes) and he’s …well he’s just… you know…
I mean… (Stuttering she finally blurts out) he’s Bo Hartley for goodness’ sake!
(While
chatting about Bo K.J. shows up to chat.)
K.J.: So
ya’ll want to here the juicy piece of information I just got from Stella?
(The other
two try to ignore her)
K.J.: It’s
really good…
Barbie:
K.J., seriously go away we’re too busy to listen to your gossip crap. (She
turns back to Roxanne and talks in a shushed voice.)
K.J:
(trying again) Well, I know you’ll want to hear what I have to say about Bo
(the girls now turn towards her) I mean it is supposed to be exclusively for
the newspaper club…
Barbie:
Ok, K.J., spit it out. You know as well as I do that since Bo and I are
practically an item I deserve to know.
K.J.: Well,
(satisfied to now have their attention) all I know is what Stella told me and
she said her friend in band told her that some relatives of the Hartley’s have
moved to town.
Barbie: Well
come on tell me more.
K.J.: Sorry
that’s all I have for you but I’ll let you know if anything else comes up.
(Bo
laughing with a group of guys pass in front of the girls Bo stops while the
guys keep going)
Bo: Hey,
your names Roxanne right? (Roxanne just nods her head) Sweet so, how you liking
school here at valley view high?
Barbie:
(steps in front of Roxanne and answers for her) Hey Bo, Roxanne totally loves
it here and I’m the one showing her around.
Bo: Cool
so what’s your name?
Barbie:
Barbie White, cheer captain. (She says proudly)
Bo: Great
well I got to get to the gym but it was nice meeting you Barbie White, cheer
captain. Catch you later, Roxanne. (Bo leaves)
K.J.: Dude
Roxanne, Bo Hartley knows your name!!! How is that?
Roxanne:
I don’t know guess he just wants to be friendly to the newbies.
Barbie: No
Roxanne, Bo isn’t just “friendly to the newbies” Now truth: how do you know Bo?
Roxanne:
(under her breath) How do you not know your own cousin?
(Barbie
and K.J. both gape)
K.J.: Oops
just realized I got to go! Bye TTYL!
Barbie:
WHAT!!! Your kidding! Bo Hartley is your cousin and you didn’t tell me! Why not?
Roxanne:
(with disgust and sarcasm) I wonder, Barbie White, cheer captain.
(The bell
rings and the girls scurry to class in opposite directions.)
THE END!!!
Monday, July 29, 2013
A Letter to My Child.
My dear child-
First of all I want you to know that I love you with all that I am. I say this in hopes that you never question my love for you. It would sadden me completely if you ever had to ask, "Does she love me?" How can I not? I know that you are young and that you will not understand the full extent of this letter until you are older but I hope you realize that I never wanted to leave you. I am sorry I will never see you again, however know that I will always be thinking of you and there will not be a night that goes by without me lifting up your name in prayer. I hope you do not think I am selfish in leaving you. I cannot give you my reason why, but just know that if you could understand my reasoning you would see that my true intentions are always looking out for what's best for you.
As your mother, I believe it is important that I include some important advice in this letter. Whether you choose to listen too it and obey it, that is up to you. It is important to me to let you know that I always found it easy to combine my points to live life by in a list all starting with the same letter. Whether you use these exact words and order it doesn't matter the important part is that you remember the ideas that the words stand for.
1. Faith- Labels are not important. So I am not going to be particular about saying you need to believe a certain religion and strictly believe in only that. If you feel you like a hodgepodge do that. The important thing is to have beliefs and morals in your life. They will help guide you; if you set these up while you are younger they will already be decided when you are older and you won't have to decide on the spot if you believe in something. I cannot force you to believe in anything, but I would encourage you to establish a walk with God while you are still young. When all else falls apart and everyone disappoints you, God is still there. I recommend finding a church to go to. One that is friendly, has lots to keep you busy, and one that challenges you to be a better person.
2. Family- You can call me a hypocrite all you want and I understand you thinking that I am telling you family is important and then me abandoning you forever. This is true, however I do not wish that you sacrifice the rest of your family just because I left. Your dad and future brothers and sisters (maybe) are going to be a very important part of your life. Make a ton of memories, become their closest friends, find out everything there is to know about them. There should be a unique bond between you that no one outside of the family quite understands. Everybody has arguments and disagreements but never have them in public with others around. Families are not perfect, but they are a team. It's always Family First. You should spend more time with your family than time spent with all your other friends combined. Never be embarrassed about giving your family hugs or kisses in public. It shows that you are real, that they really matter, and that you truly appreciate them. Lastly, Love them with all your heart because there is no such thing as loving them too much, and never leave them without saying, "I love you!"
3. Friends/Fun- After reading the last point you probably think that I am totally against friends. That is not true at all. I am just not for friends being more important than family because after all family should be some of your closest friends since chances are they will be there long after others are gone. However friends are an important part of life. First, your friends should always make you feel good about yourself, and never make you feel that you have to always defend yourself or others you love. I do not think it is important whether you have a couple super close friends or a lot of acquaintances. I do want you to know that it is vital that you be friendly to everyone. You do not have to be friends and hang out but be kind and friendly. It does not matter what someone looks like, who they hang out with, or what you think they are like. Everyone is a human being on the inside having to struggle on this earth and if nothing else at least you have that in common. Realize that not every nice person you meet should be your friend. Your friends should make you smile, never pull you down, be able to tell you when your making a mistake, and always--love you for who you are! Fun is important because life is filled with it. Do not be a boring person (otherwise you won't have any friends.) Fun can be so easy to find. I love to find fun in the simple things. People watching is fun, guessing what there life is like and what they are doing just by watching them in some public setting. Finding shapes in the clouds, or coming up with silly games with constantly changing rules that can entertain you for hours. Remember though that fun doesn't have to be something you do it can be part of who you are, that way no matter where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing it can always be fun!
4. Future- This is the last point and probably the most confusing. Most people try not to think too far into the future because it is cloudy, it is undecided and most people are afraid of the unknown. Truth is if we don't think about it or make plans for our future it is unknown but it doesn't have to be. Always know the next step you plan to take so when it comes you don't have to decide but rather just sort out the details. Some major points to look out for would be: a first job, college, housing, career, relationship. Of course these won't happen until your much older but time flies so just be aware that the decisions will be there to make. When choosing, you want to have certain people to talk to-wise people who have lots of life experience. One person would be your dad, and maybe someone else you respect and admire, lastly I would choose an expert in whatever field it is for, also don't forget to pray hard about all decisions. You can't go wrong by asking for God's help. One last thing is that the list of major decision points is probably a good way to take them one at a time. I didn't just write them as I thought of them rather I put them the way that would pry be wisest for you to go about getting them done. Go to college before settling down and get a career and a means of income before you settle into a long serious relationship. Remember that life is complicated and won't always do as you tell it, so leave room for change and complications. Life is good, and as long as you realize that, it will be.
I understand if you are upset with me. I am giving you all reason to hate me, but just know that if you ever have a kid one day you will understand the extent of your love for them is never ending. Even if I never see you again, and even if you hate me know that I love you, and that I will never stop loving you for all eternity.
xoxoxo,
Mommy
First of all I want you to know that I love you with all that I am. I say this in hopes that you never question my love for you. It would sadden me completely if you ever had to ask, "Does she love me?" How can I not? I know that you are young and that you will not understand the full extent of this letter until you are older but I hope you realize that I never wanted to leave you. I am sorry I will never see you again, however know that I will always be thinking of you and there will not be a night that goes by without me lifting up your name in prayer. I hope you do not think I am selfish in leaving you. I cannot give you my reason why, but just know that if you could understand my reasoning you would see that my true intentions are always looking out for what's best for you.
As your mother, I believe it is important that I include some important advice in this letter. Whether you choose to listen too it and obey it, that is up to you. It is important to me to let you know that I always found it easy to combine my points to live life by in a list all starting with the same letter. Whether you use these exact words and order it doesn't matter the important part is that you remember the ideas that the words stand for.
1. Faith- Labels are not important. So I am not going to be particular about saying you need to believe a certain religion and strictly believe in only that. If you feel you like a hodgepodge do that. The important thing is to have beliefs and morals in your life. They will help guide you; if you set these up while you are younger they will already be decided when you are older and you won't have to decide on the spot if you believe in something. I cannot force you to believe in anything, but I would encourage you to establish a walk with God while you are still young. When all else falls apart and everyone disappoints you, God is still there. I recommend finding a church to go to. One that is friendly, has lots to keep you busy, and one that challenges you to be a better person.
2. Family- You can call me a hypocrite all you want and I understand you thinking that I am telling you family is important and then me abandoning you forever. This is true, however I do not wish that you sacrifice the rest of your family just because I left. Your dad and future brothers and sisters (maybe) are going to be a very important part of your life. Make a ton of memories, become their closest friends, find out everything there is to know about them. There should be a unique bond between you that no one outside of the family quite understands. Everybody has arguments and disagreements but never have them in public with others around. Families are not perfect, but they are a team. It's always Family First. You should spend more time with your family than time spent with all your other friends combined. Never be embarrassed about giving your family hugs or kisses in public. It shows that you are real, that they really matter, and that you truly appreciate them. Lastly, Love them with all your heart because there is no such thing as loving them too much, and never leave them without saying, "I love you!"
3. Friends/Fun- After reading the last point you probably think that I am totally against friends. That is not true at all. I am just not for friends being more important than family because after all family should be some of your closest friends since chances are they will be there long after others are gone. However friends are an important part of life. First, your friends should always make you feel good about yourself, and never make you feel that you have to always defend yourself or others you love. I do not think it is important whether you have a couple super close friends or a lot of acquaintances. I do want you to know that it is vital that you be friendly to everyone. You do not have to be friends and hang out but be kind and friendly. It does not matter what someone looks like, who they hang out with, or what you think they are like. Everyone is a human being on the inside having to struggle on this earth and if nothing else at least you have that in common. Realize that not every nice person you meet should be your friend. Your friends should make you smile, never pull you down, be able to tell you when your making a mistake, and always--love you for who you are! Fun is important because life is filled with it. Do not be a boring person (otherwise you won't have any friends.) Fun can be so easy to find. I love to find fun in the simple things. People watching is fun, guessing what there life is like and what they are doing just by watching them in some public setting. Finding shapes in the clouds, or coming up with silly games with constantly changing rules that can entertain you for hours. Remember though that fun doesn't have to be something you do it can be part of who you are, that way no matter where you are, who you are with, or what you are doing it can always be fun!
4. Future- This is the last point and probably the most confusing. Most people try not to think too far into the future because it is cloudy, it is undecided and most people are afraid of the unknown. Truth is if we don't think about it or make plans for our future it is unknown but it doesn't have to be. Always know the next step you plan to take so when it comes you don't have to decide but rather just sort out the details. Some major points to look out for would be: a first job, college, housing, career, relationship. Of course these won't happen until your much older but time flies so just be aware that the decisions will be there to make. When choosing, you want to have certain people to talk to-wise people who have lots of life experience. One person would be your dad, and maybe someone else you respect and admire, lastly I would choose an expert in whatever field it is for, also don't forget to pray hard about all decisions. You can't go wrong by asking for God's help. One last thing is that the list of major decision points is probably a good way to take them one at a time. I didn't just write them as I thought of them rather I put them the way that would pry be wisest for you to go about getting them done. Go to college before settling down and get a career and a means of income before you settle into a long serious relationship. Remember that life is complicated and won't always do as you tell it, so leave room for change and complications. Life is good, and as long as you realize that, it will be.
I understand if you are upset with me. I am giving you all reason to hate me, but just know that if you ever have a kid one day you will understand the extent of your love for them is never ending. Even if I never see you again, and even if you hate me know that I love you, and that I will never stop loving you for all eternity.
xoxoxo,
Mommy
Saturday, July 13, 2013
My Legacy
In my "Bible" reading today I came across a very interesting thought. What do you want to be remembered for? What do you want people to say at your funeral? What will your great accomplishments be when you die? Who do you want to remember you as having an impact on their life?
We are all going to die. It only takes one second, one rash decision, one mistaken step and then our lives could be over. Let's just say for the sake of this blog post that my date to die is December in the year 2025. That would be the month after my 30th birthday. If I die at age 30 first of all I do not want a funeral; I want a memorial service. There's just something about the word funeral that just creeps people out and sounds too depressing. Death is inevitable, but how we see it is our choice. To me, death is another adventure so to speak. We live; we die. It's only natural, so when I die I wish to have a memorial service for people to remember me and be happy for the life I lived not grieve for me and think of the life I could have lived.
I want to be remembered as a happy girl. A girl that always had a smile on her face and song in her heart. One that knew what she wanted and worked hard to get it. I want people to remember that I lived my life to the fullest no matter how long my life ends up to be. I want to be remembered as a giving person-one who only wanted the best for those loved ones in my life. I want them to know I cared about them and I do not want them to wonder if I loved them. I want people to remember my hugs and my words of encouragement, and most of all I want people to know that when I die I am going to heaven and I want all my friends and family to know that I was saved by grace and they can be to.
I plan to have many great accomplishments done by the time I die. I decided a little while ago that no time is "too soon" to have started a bucket list. That list is already chalk full of things to do before I die. Some are little things that will have minor impact on my life if only to say, "I DID IT!" Other items on that list, however are accomplishments that I wish to be remembered for such as: writing a novel, getting an article about my work published in a newspaper/magazine, and to own my own business. I want kids to be able to see my name and say, "Hey, I have one of her books, it's awesome!" or "Dude, I read one of her books once and I couldn't put it down; she's my favorite author now!" My greatest accomplishment when I die will (hopefully) be that I am a successful freelance writer. I hope my life impacts others for the better. I mean what a waste if you live say 30 years and never touch one soul. I take back what I said before. Changing someones life is by far the greatest accomplishment I could hope to do in my lifetime, but why should I only stop at one? I still want to be a successful freelance writer, but I want my writing to be a help to someone. What is the point of having many best selling novels if none of them really impact anybody's life?
I want to impact the next generation, especially, because they have the power to change the future, actually, they are the future, and by impacting them I impact the future. I want my family to remember me as having an impact on their life. I don't want people to say when I die, "Who are you talking about?" I want to have a legacy; I want to be remembered even after I am long gone as the girl who never quit, who never gave up on those she loved, one who did not under any circumstances conform to the cookie cutter shapes of those around her. Yes, I will be different. Yes, I will stand out. But I will not die without leaving my hand print on your heart and my stamp of individuality on this earth.
Yours Until I die,
GreeenGirl
We are all going to die. It only takes one second, one rash decision, one mistaken step and then our lives could be over. Let's just say for the sake of this blog post that my date to die is December in the year 2025. That would be the month after my 30th birthday. If I die at age 30 first of all I do not want a funeral; I want a memorial service. There's just something about the word funeral that just creeps people out and sounds too depressing. Death is inevitable, but how we see it is our choice. To me, death is another adventure so to speak. We live; we die. It's only natural, so when I die I wish to have a memorial service for people to remember me and be happy for the life I lived not grieve for me and think of the life I could have lived.
I want to be remembered as a happy girl. A girl that always had a smile on her face and song in her heart. One that knew what she wanted and worked hard to get it. I want people to remember that I lived my life to the fullest no matter how long my life ends up to be. I want to be remembered as a giving person-one who only wanted the best for those loved ones in my life. I want them to know I cared about them and I do not want them to wonder if I loved them. I want people to remember my hugs and my words of encouragement, and most of all I want people to know that when I die I am going to heaven and I want all my friends and family to know that I was saved by grace and they can be to.
I plan to have many great accomplishments done by the time I die. I decided a little while ago that no time is "too soon" to have started a bucket list. That list is already chalk full of things to do before I die. Some are little things that will have minor impact on my life if only to say, "I DID IT!" Other items on that list, however are accomplishments that I wish to be remembered for such as: writing a novel, getting an article about my work published in a newspaper/magazine, and to own my own business. I want kids to be able to see my name and say, "Hey, I have one of her books, it's awesome!" or "Dude, I read one of her books once and I couldn't put it down; she's my favorite author now!" My greatest accomplishment when I die will (hopefully) be that I am a successful freelance writer. I hope my life impacts others for the better. I mean what a waste if you live say 30 years and never touch one soul. I take back what I said before. Changing someones life is by far the greatest accomplishment I could hope to do in my lifetime, but why should I only stop at one? I still want to be a successful freelance writer, but I want my writing to be a help to someone. What is the point of having many best selling novels if none of them really impact anybody's life?
I want to impact the next generation, especially, because they have the power to change the future, actually, they are the future, and by impacting them I impact the future. I want my family to remember me as having an impact on their life. I don't want people to say when I die, "Who are you talking about?" I want to have a legacy; I want to be remembered even after I am long gone as the girl who never quit, who never gave up on those she loved, one who did not under any circumstances conform to the cookie cutter shapes of those around her. Yes, I will be different. Yes, I will stand out. But I will not die without leaving my hand print on your heart and my stamp of individuality on this earth.
Yours Until I die,
GreeenGirl
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