Living Life ;)

*written yesterday, but I didn't have internet…*

      Sometimes I question my choice to attend college, as I do all my major, life-altering questions. Doubts (without fail) always come because they are so huge. This week I was doing some thinking and I realize that sometimes (not always) I wish I could permanently be forever young. I know I'm too young to be wishing for my youth back and that it's way too early for me to be having a midlife crisis, but I'm pretty sure that, that is what this is. I just want to be a teen again! My high school years were the best. I was happy, content, and had a big happy family. Now, my life is different. It's not bad it's just changed SO much. I almost don't recognize it myself. Sometimes it's as if I'm watching my life before my eyes like a movie on fast forward mode, but I don't have the remote and I can't control it!!! It's not that I'm unhappy with my life and everything is miserable it's just that for the first time it is a challenge; I can no longer just coast sitting by the sidelines; I have to jump in the game. The only reason my high school years were the "best" is because I just got out of them! I need to realize that if my life is boring there is no one to blame but myself. So ready or not-new year here I come!

     Today I left to go back to college. I was ready; I mean I was after all going to be a second semester freshman so I had no worries. No one told me, however that it was going to be way harder than the first time. I got almost no sleep and cried the whole way to the airport. When I arrived I gave tearful hugs and kisses to both my mother and soulmate. In my mind I knew it was going to be only 4 months, and that they would fly by once I was at college, but at the same time I realized that this thought only added to my emotions. The fact that so much can happen in 4 months both excited me and freaked me out. Yes, there are many adventures waiting for me at college, but I couldn't help but wonder what I was going to miss not being at home. The second realization that was haunting my subconscious was realizing that the time spent at college was going to fly by, yet it was going to be jam packed with mundane college life with crazy activities mixed in, but when looked back upon during the summer I would ask myself, "What have you accomplished this semester?" And I had better not disappoint myself.

     Either way, I'm on my way to further educate myself and hopefully succeed in life along the way. With heightened emotions I bid thee farewell. xoxoxo

     -GreenGirl